


Sent to the Wrong Stark (he's been betrayed)

by kittykatknits



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Jon is not related to the Starks, Sexting, When sexting goes wrong, dick pic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-01
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2019-01-07 15:19:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12235497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittykatknits/pseuds/kittykatknits
Summary: From the fic prompt on tumblr: Modern AU prompt request, if you're willing: Jon accidentally sends his sexts meant for Sansa to Robb (b/c the Starks recently got a new family plan and all their numbers are only one digit away from each other). Robb's not too happy learning about his sister and best friend's relationship via dick pic.Jon sends a text to the wrong Stark. Robb decides to have a bit of fun with his best friend.





	Sent to the Wrong Stark (he's been betrayed)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Janina](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Janina/gifts), [vivilove](https://archiveofourown.org/users/vivilove/gifts), [Jeanettesc](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jeanettesc/gifts).



> For Janina, Vivi, and Jeanette: How could we not resist Jon sending Robb a dick pic by mistake?

Jon sat at the island in his kitchen, his chin resting in the palm of his hand, content to quietly observe Sansa as she finished making her grocery list. “Any chance I can talk you into pizza?”

She wrinkled her nose, not even a little bit tempted at his suggestion. “We can always do that and, besides, tonight’s special.”

Sansa had the right of it, they were celebrating, but it was also a good-bye to the past couple months too. The very next evening, the Starks would know about the two of them and Jon knew what that meant. Her father would ask if his intentions were honorable while Robb would feel the need to protect his sweet, innocent sister from Jon’s lecherous ways. Her younger siblings would crack embarrassing jokes about them doing it at the most awkward times. It would be worth it though, because Jon hoped they would be celebrating something more that night too.

“Come here,” he growled before grabbing the waistline of Sansa’s skirt, spinning her so she stood between him and the countertop. “You better hurry, I have plans for you.”

“I’ll be right back, we only need a few things.” She put her arms around his neck, her thumb stroking along the edge of his hair line. “Dinner first, Jon.”

“Aye, then dessert.”

She giggled. “You’re such a dork.”

“What?” He pretended confusion. “That was pretty smooth.”

She hummed. “Very smooth.”

Jon traced her lower lip with his finger and swallowed thickly when her tongue reached out to lick at him. “Oh, fuck,” he whispered absently before pressing himself against her. Her sweet cry stirred him on. Jon leaned over her, hungrily kissing Sansa before reluctantly breaking away. “Shop quickly.”

“Very quickly.” Her breathing was ragged.

Jon walked her to the door before returning to set the table, laying out plates, silverware, and wine glasses. He put her favorite wine on ice too before running to his bedroom to get the present he’d hidden away in the bottom dresser drawer.

All of it took less than ten minutes, leaving him with nothing to do but wait.  Standing in the kitchen, Jon spied his cell phone on the countertop. He gave a self-satisfied grin before picking it up. Sansa had given him her new number earlier in the day, it was time for him to break it in. Jon undid his belt and pulled down the zipper of his jeans before going to work.

_A couple minutes later…._

Robb pulled his girlfriend close, looking forward to spending a quiet evening with her. “What movie do you want to watch?”

“Nothing violent.”

There was no point in arguing, Robb already knew he would watch whatever Margaery wanted. He handed her the remote. “You pick,” he said before picking up his nearby phone when it started to vibrate on the table next to him.

“What in the actual fuck.” Robb was pretty sure his innocence was now completely destroyed.

“What’s wrong?”

“My phone,” he croaked, handing it over.

Margaery took it before bursting into laughter. “Well, it’s pretty nice as dicks go. Even color and not overly veiny. You’re a lucky guy, Robb Stark.”

“Why would you say that? Give it back.” He grabbed his phone, feeling both curious and frightened to discover any other horrors Jon might feel compelled to send him. “Wait, he’s sending another message.”

Margaery frowned at him. “You should probably tell him that pic went to the wrong person.”

“Why would I do that? Let’s embarrass him some first.” He held his arm out, away from Margaery’s reach. “You can’t have it so you may as well stop trying. Look, here’s the next message.” Robb read out the next message from Jon. “‘I’m going to fuck you against the wall with this just as soon as you get back.’”

“Robb…” Margaery said warningly. “You should probably tell him.”

He narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “What do you know?”

“Nothing,” she said innocently.

Robb wasn’t sure whether or not to believe her before deciding his girlfriend had no reason to keep it a secret if Jon Snow was hooking up with some random girl. “Jon Snow, the fuckboy in the north. Let’s have some fun.” He ignored Margaery’s second warning and began to type a message.

_Robb: Are you sure you could pick me up? I’m quite large._

_Jon: <picture of six pack abs>_

“Fucking show off,” Robb grumbled to himself. “Hey, what do you call a man’s chest?”

“His chest,” Margaery helpfully offered.

“Thanks.”

Robb:  Will you play with my chest too, even though I have tiny nipples?

_Jon: Your nipples are the perfect size. I’ll suck and lick at them until you’re moaning from pleasure._

_Robb: <licking my lips>  Where else will you be fucking me?”_

_Jon: After that, I’m going to bend you over our kitchen table, pull down your pink panties, and fuck you until you are begging to come._

“‘Our kitchen table’? Did Jon get a roommate?” Robb was certain Jon would have told him, they were best friends after all.

“When would I talk to Jon Snow?”

Robb dismissed the idea. Margaery was Sansa’s best friend and usually hung out with her when he wasn’t around. She wouldn’t know anything about Jon.

_Robb: You may need to pull on my underwear pretty hard. They can stick to my hairy legs._

_Jon: I saw you shave this morning._

_Robb: My leg hair tends to grow very fast._

_Jon: I love all of you, even your leg hair._

Robb’s body shook with silent laughter as he wiped the tears from his eyes. “Oh, man. I’m going to torture him with this for years.” He took a deep breath. “What should I tell him next?”

“You could tell him the truth.”

“What’s the fun in that?” He considered what to say next. “I’ll ask him about fantasies.”

“Or you could tell him the truth.”

_Robb:  Can I tell you one of my fantasies? I’ve been wanting to do this for awhile._

_Jon: Sure baby, anything you want. Tonight, it’s all about your pleasure._

_Robb: I have something special I want you to wear._

_Jon: Do you want me to put on those ass-less chaps and cowboy hat for you again?_

“Oh shit, oh shit.” Robb wiped at his eyes once more. His stomach was beginning to hurt. “I think this might be the best day of my life.”

_Robb: No, even better._

_Jon: Tell me what you want. I’ll be waiting just as soon as you get back.”_

_Robb: I want you to wear my red fishnet stockings…_

_Jon: What?_

_Robb: Please, Jon. I love you in red and I’ve been fantasizing about you in a pair of my stockings and nothing else for a long time now. And after that…._

_Jon: And after?_

_Robb:  And after, it’s my turn to bend you over the kitchen table and spank you with a spatula._

_Jon: …._

_Jon: …_

_Jon: Sansa?_

Robb’s laughter vanished. “Did he just type out my sister’s name? Tell me he did not just send a message asking if I was Sansa.”

Margaery stared at him. “Ok. Jon didn’t just send you a message asking if you were Sansa.”

“I’ve been betrayed.” Robb felt stunned, he wondering how long Jon had been doing this to his sister behind his back. “I’m going to kill him.”

_Robb: No, you asshole…this is Robb._

_Jon: …._

_Jon…_

_Jon: Please don’t kill me…._

“How long do you think he’s been violating my sister?” Margaery did not answer him, making Robb take notice of the carefully blank expression she wore. “You knew. Betrayer,” he accused. He pointed his finger at her, making sure to wave it around as dramatically as possible.

“Oh, Robb-”

“Don’t ‘Oh, Robb’ me. We’re going over to his house now. That dick pic was in his kitchen, I’m pretty sure.” He stood up, sticking his phone in his pocket as he did so.

Margaery followed after, pulling at his arm. “Robb, maybe we should wait until the morning, after you’ve had a chance to calm down. Do you really want to confront your best friend this angry?”

“Yes. Get my weapons and I’ll get the car keys.”

She followed after. “You don’t have any weapons.”

“I’ll settle for punching him then.” He stormed out of their house, Margaery following after.

Less than ten minutes later, he was loudly slamming at Jon’s front door, ignoring Margaery’s reminders that both Jon and Sansa were consenting adults. He found that bit of knowledge completely irrelevant.

The door opened with a squeak and Jon took a couple of immediate steps back. Robb noted he didn’t have his pants down and dick out on display. He decided to call that a win.

“Hi Robb. Margaery. How are you both this evening?”

He ignored Jon’s question. “Where’s my sister?”

“She went to the store to get a few things we need to make dinner.” Jon scratched his beard before combing through his hair. “Listen, about what you saw. That was a mistake. I hope you can forget you any of it ever happened.”

“You mean forget how I discovered you’re secretly hooking up with my sister?”

“Looks like we’ve been caught,” said a familiar voice behind him. “Hi Margaery, I guess our secret is out, then?”

Robb turned to see his younger sister standing in the entryway, bag in hand. She was dressed in a matching skirt and blouse, as if she was going out someplace nice. He took notice of Jon’s clothing then, realizing he was dressed similarly. He felt uncomfortable, it was apparent the two of them planned more than a night of hooking up. Still, it didn’t matter, he was surrounded by betrayers.

Jon walked across the room, giving him a wide berth, to take the bag from Sansa’s hand. “It’s my fault. You know the list of numbers you gave me today? I got the ones for you and Robb mixed up.”

“Robb saw a picture he probably was not meant to see,” Margaery helpfully explained.

He pulled his phone from his pocket “I got a lot more than a picture.” Robb readied himself to list of all the ways he’d humiliated Jon when Sansa grabbed the phone from his hand. “Hey!”

“I’ll give it back.” Sansa began. She began to swipe at his phone before laughing. “You didn’t wonder about the tiny nipples?”

Jon’s face turned red. “I like their size but didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”

“And the hairy legs?”

“Yeah, that I wondered about.” Jon’s head fell, making Robb think of a hound dog.

“But, you said you love all of me.” Robb thought his sister was going to start crying.

“You know I do, Sansa.” Jon stroked her cheek with his thumb, obviously reluctant to do more in his presence. “I guess we should tell him?”

“I guess so.”

Jon set the bag of food down beside him before lacing their hands together and pulling Sansa close. “We aren’t hooking up or whatever it is you think we’re doing. I happen to be deeply in love with your sister and I’m pretty certain she feels the same way about me.”

“She does,” Sansa said, her voice trembling.

Robb tried to summon a congratulations for them but he felt strangely deflated over the news. Jon was his best friend in the world, they’d known each other almost all their lives. Only a little while ago, he would have sworn they did not have any secrets. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Margaery came up, putting her arms around him. “I think they worried how you would take it.”

“Oh.” That didn’t particularly help him to feel better.

“The plan was to tell you and the rest of the family at dinner tomorrow night,” Sansa said guiltily.

“Why not earlier?”

Jon stared at him, incredulous. “Uh.. Robb, have you met your family?”

“Can I ask how long?”

Jon frowned, looking uncomfortable. “A couple months and like I said, this isn’t casual. Actually, hold on.” He left them, walking over to the kitchen table and returned. Robb didn’t think he could ever sit at that thing again. “Since I’ve managed to embarrass both of us and hurt my best friend, may as well go all in.” He handed Sansa a blue rose.

She took it, untying the silk ribbon. “Jon, it’s a key.” Her voice quivered.

Jon scratched at his beard again. “Yeah, I didn’t want to just tell your family how serious we were, I wanted to tell you too. I want to live with you, if not here then someplace else, wherever you want.”

Of course, Sansa had to go and burst into tears at that, telling Jon yes and that she couldn’t imagine not living with him. Then, her and Margaery were hugging each other. Robb stood there, watching all the drama, feeling like an idiot.

“Robb.” Jon stood next to him. “I really am sorry, we should have told you,” he said contritely.

“I am happy for you both. You’re exactly the kind of guy I would want for Sansa.” He did mean that. “I’ll delete the messages on my phone.” Right after he showed them to Theon, Robb deserved some revenge.

“Thank you, I appreciate that.”

“No problem.”

“You want to stay for dinner?”

Robb glanced at the kitchen table again, wondering what his best friend had done with his little sister on it. “No, thanks. Hey, if you decide to marry her, maybe tell me before the wedding?”

Jon chuckled. “When I marry her, you’ll be my best man.”

He smiled at that, his first one since learning about the two of them. “I’d love too. We should go, leave you two alone. Just do me a favor, will you?”

“What’s that?”

“Fix the numbers on your phone.”

“Sure, I can do that.”

The four of them said their goodbyes until Jon and Sansa stood alone in their living room once again.

Sansa stared at him mischievously. “So, red fishnet stockings, huh?”

“Well, that’s when I knew it wasn’t you.”

“How so?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “We both know black was always my color.” Jon pulled her close, cradling her face with his hands. “Welcome home.”

“I only went to the store.”

“Yes, but a lot happened while you were gone.” He leaned in to kiss her.


End file.
